


Mischief, Mayhem and Ego

by jairyn



Series: Deadpan Sisters [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anthropology, Bullying, Clone Wars, F/M, Family, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi Consular - Freeform, Jedi Shadow - Freeform, Mental Disorders, Original Character(s), Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Shili, Sisters, Star Wars - Freeform, The Force, Togruta - Freeform, Trauma, alexithymeria, deadpan sisters, hunter species, jedi order, mountain tribes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26436751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jairyn/pseuds/jairyn
Summary: A listless and misunderstood togruta, who struggles to express and understand emotions to the extreme, has a hard time fitting in with the Jedi Order. Often in trouble, some of the masters debate whether or not she's fit to be a Jedi at all until one steps forward to train her. Under Master Vaia's care and attention, Taraahi thrives, becoming a better Jedi than everyone thought possible. At least until the Clone Wars starts and strain is put on all of them.When the unthinkable happens, Taraahi's world is shattered and she barely escapes destruction with her life. In search of answers and control, she stumbles on an old Sith world and finds power she'd never imagined. But will that fill the hole or does she need more out of life?The answer to that comes in the face of someone she'd never imagined and hardly remembered; her younger sister. Thrown together again in uncertain times, they're both forced to find out what's most important in life and who they want to be.
Relationships: Taraahi Syh & Kehna Syh, Taraahi Syh/Dysek Ocerion
Series: Deadpan Sisters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921693
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I started a story about Taraahi and her sister before, but I wasn't happy with how it was laid out so I've since deleted it and decided they both kind of needed their own stories instead of trying to cross back and forth and tell them in the same one. I'm starting first with Taraahi because I think Kehna's will be easier to understand if you learn about her sister first.
> 
> I know OCs aren't as popular as canon characters or ship stories, but I really really love these two and I want to share their stories. I hope that you guys will give them a chance. 
> 
> Taraahi is older than Anakin by about 8 years, so some of her story will take place pre-prequels, but you'll see some familiar names throughout the story (including a fun chapter with Ahsoka later on). 
> 
> This first chapter is to lay the groundwork and the subsequent chapters might either go chronologically or have some flashbacks, I haven't decided which yet.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“So, the force whispered the truth then? My wayward child has found her place at last.”

“Master Vaia?” Taraahi whispered in surprise as she approached the old woman meditating in the cave. As far as she knew, they were in the middle of nowhere, what was her old Jedi master doing here? But then again, perhaps it made perfect sense that Master Vaia was in the middle of nowhere, considering that surviving Jedi were still being hunted by the Empire. 

“Come child, meditate with me,” the old Jedi said.

“But... I...”

“I know, my dear. The force has told me of your difficult journey. Sit, no judgements here. It’s good to see an old friend.”

She reluctantly sat in front of her old Jedi Master. Somehow inside this cave she felt like she’d transported back in time fifteen years, back when she’d been a Jedi, back when everything had been so sure, back when she was but a child under their care. 

She dropped her chin and closed her eyes, sighing more heavily than she meant to. The scars ran deeper than she cared to admit.

“For as long as I’ve known you, you were strong willed,” Master Vaia spoke softly but power still resonated in her voice. “I’m glad that hasn’t changed.”

“Everything else has,” she murmured more to herself. She didn’t know why the old Jedi Master had this effect on her, but when she was around her, it was hard to pull forward her normal indifferent attitude. Master Vaia always made her feel vulnerable, weak, emotional. Which were all the things you weren’t supposed to be as a Jedi. And yet, looking back in an honest clarity, Master Vaia also always made her feel safe. She was the only master in the temple that could provoke such feelings but never make you fear them. Perhaps that had been her true talent after all. 

“You lost your way.” It was a statement, an utterance of truth, not the judgy way the council disapproved of things. “You transformed. Tell me about your transformation, your journey.”

Master Vaia hadn’t been there that day, it wasn’t her that had witnessed her break. The way she spoke of it indicated however, that her statement was based on her presence right here, right now. Not anything she’d heard Yoda or the others discussing about it later. And while she didn’t really want to let the memories she’d kept locked away so long surface, she felt compelled to tell her anyways.

“I knelt there on that bridge, the stoic indifferent Jedi I’d been trained to be. I turned my heart from the senseless murder as those monsters goaded me into losing my calm. I centered myself in the light, I told myself this was the way of war and we were better than them. That the losses were unfortunate but...” she choked on her words, hating the taste they left in her mouth. “He looked at me, my Commander. He accepted his death. He spoke only of his honor and gratitude. That he’d been proud to serve under me. And I sat there and did nothing as he was executed.”

She looked down at her hands, feeling the same tingling electricity that had raced through her blood that day, like something had shocked her heart into action. The calm indifference, the level-headed Jedi code, the teachings she’d devoted her life to had failed her that day. Nothing made sense after that. She felt like she was being electrocuted from the inside out. A heavy pain that drowned her before she could even open her mouth. Then a shockwave in every direction as violent as an electrical storm. 

“I killed them all,” she admitted, tightening her fists to squash the rush of power. Whatever had come over her, she’d wanted only to direct it at the monster that had killed her friends, but when it had been unleashed, it had taken the rest of her troops too. The burning she felt inside had destroyed everything outside as though she’d completely lost control. She had. She’d lost all sense of control over every aspect of her life. And her reaction, while it had stopped _those_ monsters, hadn’t satisfied the gutted corpse that now described her. “I didn’t know that was inside me.”

She dropped from her knees to her face in her hands as she cried onto the stone floor of the cave. 

“In trying to stop a monster, I became one. I couldn’t face their judgement,” she sobbed.

“So you ran away.” Master Vaia shifted a little and set her old wrinkled hand on her shoulder. 

“I did.”

“And what did you find?”

“Power,” she breathed. “So much power.”

“But the dark side and the Sith didn’t tempt you, despite what had happened before you went wandering, why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be like them. I just wanted to learn control, I wanted to learn what I could to stop something like that from happening again. I just wanted...”

“Purpose,” Master Vaia finished for her.

“Yes.”

“And you found it.” Another statement.

“I did.”

“How?” the Jedi Master prodded.

“I wandered the galaxy for years, following my every whim, chasing everything I’d ever desired or wished to experience. Nothing filled the hole. I started to believe that was just what life was like. Not even what the Jedi forbade gave me more than a few moments of fleeting pleasure. I could no longer care about the war, I couldn’t fight for the people, I couldn’t bend my heart to their cries or needs. And then the force brought me face to face with my sister.”

“Family.” Master Vaia nodded knowingly. “The ultimate desire.”

“She carried so much pain; two years younger, but the weight of the world lived on her shoulders. I didn’t understand at first, what could’ve happened. She grew up safe, on Shili, she never had to deal with fighting or war or loss. And in my ignorance, she denounced me, claiming her pain was my fault.” She rubbed her hands together. “I felt that, it was like an explosion inside my already ruined body. I don’t think I ever before understood what it was like to feel someone else’s pain. The Jedi always taught detachment, compassion but from a distance. But this... this was like I wanted to rip myself to shreds and plant her pain in me, so she no longer had to feel it. I wanted to take it from her, I wanted to carry it, so she didn’t have to.”

“And thus, you learned the one lesson the Jedi couldn’t teach,” Master Vaia whispered. “Love.”

“It hurt. I never knew something so craved could be so painful. I didn’t know why I wanted it so badly. I didn’t know why I liked the way it felt to be ruined. It was like my heart had become this savage beast, suddenly no longer content inside its cage. I felt like I was being ravaged from the inside out,” she confessed. “But reaching for my sister, it soothed the beast. And it opened me up to a light that could now seep in through my wounds.”

“The Jedi believed in detachment as an act of justice. The role of a peacekeeper meant one had to be unbiased in every situation. Seek what was best for many over the selfish needs of a few,” Master Vaia said. “But what the order failed to understand, was that to protect the world and heal it, they had to love it. Love is a powerful emotion, one that cannot be controlled. Because it was uncontrollable and unpredictable, it became feared. And in the midst of war, that fear became our downfall. In detachment we had no purpose, no light, no love. All of which was necessary to end the conflict. Justice was no longer an option.”

“Love made me more powerful. It gave me purpose; it gave me light. It made me better than I ever was before. I found someone to share it with. We have a child now. I feel more connected to the force and to goodness now than I ever did as a Jedi.”

“The final lesson, my padawan,” the Jedi Master said. “When one acknowledges they are lost, they realize they’re actually found. The force guides our journeys in mysterious ways, often the circumstances that cause us to deviate from our expected route, are the only way we find our intended destination. You turned your back on the Jedi, you sought your own way. You spent years believing you were lost, only to discover your deviation led you straight to being found. Something you might never have discovered if you’d continued on your way. My child, the force has called you beyond the realm of the Jedi code. It knew your purpose lay elsewhere. Meditate on this lesson, and express only honor and gratitude for a life well lived.”

“Thank you, Master.” She brought her hands together and bowed respectfully. 


	2. Hunting

She dropped onto her hands and knees, skulking down the hallway like a beast searching for prey. Instead of turu grass beneath her, there was only this rough orangish carpet so matted by constant traffic it was hardly soft. The walls were equally unnatural and did nothing to hide her purple skin as she moved slowly and stealthily towards the door at the other end of the hall. 

She threw the way too large robe over her head, hoping the dull brown would camouflage her as she skirted around the patches of light patterned across the floor from the large elegant windows. She’d freeze like a predator as people went by. They couldn’t see her, they didn’t care. Nobody noticed her when she was hunting, which meant she was good at it. She’d probably even wager she was better than Shaak Ti. The other Togruta might have more experience, but she chose to move and act like the humans instead.

She closed in on the door, her senses on high alert, listening, waiting, licking her lips in anticipation of the kill. She could hear the chatter, the happy excited voices as the other younglings talked about their day. But she, she wanted to play, and they were her playmates. 

She reached her hand up and used the force to press the button. The door opened, then it closed. The talking had ceased on the other side. They’d frozen mid-sentence to stare at the door.

“Did you see that?” One of them whispered.

“Did someone come in?”

“I didn’t see anyone.”

“Is everyone still here?”

“I am.”

“Me too.”

“And me.”

“Who opened the door?”

“Not me.”

“Me either.”

“Someone go check it out.”

“No way!” She could almost picture them pushing each other as they argued about it. She smiled to herself. Then she reached up and pushed the button again. This time one of them yelped. There was a scramble on the other side as presumably they all dove for cover. If she wasn’t hunting, she might have laughed. Younglings were so gullible. They already thought the temple was haunted, this only further convinced them of that. A brilliant rumor she’d started that made this game even more fun. 

“Come on, guys, we’re Jedi! We can’t be afraid!” She didn’t know which one was talking, but based on how this game usually played out, that person unwittingly just volunteered to be prey.

“Then _you_ go.” Just as she’d known, footsteps started heading towards the door.

“I’ll prove to you there’s nothing to be afraid of.” The kid probably puffed out their chest trying to feel important. Little did they know, they weren’t.

She waited, ready to pounce. The door opened but the kid didn’t come out. 

“See? I told you it was nothing.” He turned his back, but the door didn’t close. She rose in one graceful movement, lifting her arms and making herself as large as possible until her shadow more than covered his. 

One of the others screamed which triggered an all out scramble. One girl in the corner fainted. The boy didn’t yet know he was toast and put his hands on his hips.

“What is wrong with you guys? There’s nothing there, I just showed you.” Someone pointed at her. He slowly started turning around. He didn’t manage to make a sound before she attacked, wrestling him to the ground as he screamed and started crying as she pretended to gnaw on his arm. He tasted yucky and unsatisfying.

Faster than anyone could react, she landed on the far bed and loomed over the two girls cowering behind it. They both started instantly crying and hugging each other. She made a show of licking her lips just to make them think she’d eat them. Then she padded her way to the girl that had fainted before, who woke up just in time to see her over her and passed out again. Then she turned on the last boy and started to leap in his direction.

In a panicked whimper, she felt the force hit her as her arms turned to heavy lead and slowed way down as everyone scurried out of the room faster than she could even blink. She heard the master’s exclamation as the whiny little younglings all ran to her out in the hallway and cry. And finally, the force released and she slammed twice as hard into the wall where the kid that had slowed her had been standing before. 

She shook it off, rolled onto her bed nearby and grabbed her datapad like she’d been laying there studying the whole time. She looked up mildly interested when the room door opened again and in stormed Master Glarsom with her hands in fists and glaring from bed to bed. 

“Evening, Master,” she said calmly before going back to what she was reading. 

“Taraahi,” the woman breathed more through her nose than her mouth. It was hard to resist smirking, but she held the neutral expression and raised her brow in confusion.

“Is something wrong, Master? You look flustered.” The woman straightened after checking on the girl that had passed out and looked at her, her eyes narrowed in anger.

“On your feet, youngling,” Glarsom ordered. She didn’t bother hiding the eye roll and set her datapad aside, rising slowly. She didn’t understand why the teacher was so upset. They were just playing. Just because they went crying to the masters didn’t mean she’d done anything wrong. She knew for a fact they loved to be scared, they’d talk about it all the time in excited whispers and curious wonder. But then when she’d oblige them by doing just that, they got all whiny and tattled on her. “Follow me.”

“Where we going?” she asked as though she had no idea. It wasn’t like this happened forty times each week. She ignored the other younglings in the hallways as they all backed away from her, trying to hide their stares and mean whispers. She saw and heard them all and didn’t care. 

“To see Master Yoda,” the woman replied through gritted teeth. Master Glarsom definitely needed to practice her Jedi calm, because she wasn’t very good at it.

“Why?” she asked innocently.

“To decide on an appropriate punishment.”

“For what?”

“For scaring the other kids.”

“We were just playing, they wanted to be scared,” she said simply. “They like it.”

“Children that pass out or flee from the room in terror and tears clearly do _not_ like it, youngling.” Master Glarsom threw up her arms. “And little Kelleran, bite marks up and down his arm. That is not appropriate in civilized society!”

“You assume Shili isn’t civilized then? Just because it’s not like Coruscant?”

“Obviously not if you see clawing and biting as normal behavior!” Glarsom muttered in frustration. “I knew it was a bad idea to let hunter species into the temple. I kept telling Master Yoda they weren’t fit to be Jedi. Just because Shaak Ti is an exemplary Jedi, doesn’t mean all of you are.”

“Shaak Ti has forgotten what it’s like to be a togruta. She’s human-washed herself. Togruta are proud and strong. Humans are the weak ones.”

“Now listen here, youngling, you will not speak as such within these walls. It is a Jedi’s duty to serve all, no species is superior.”

“You started it,” she said simply and shrugged her shoulders.

Master Glarsom went into a full-blown rant this time and she instantly tuned her out. Her rants were so predictable by now that even if she was quizzed on what was said later, she could answer every question right without having heard a word.

“In trouble again, Taraahi?” Aayla asked as they passed each other in the hallway. The blue twi’lek was one of the few other younglings she didn’t mind. But that was probably because Aayla wasn’t whiny like the other ones, despite being two years younger than her.

“Apparently.” She rolled her eyes and Aayla giggled.

“Well, good luck with Master Yoda.” She waved before doing a quick impression of the grandmaster hunched over his gimer stick.

“This is no laughing matter,” Master Glarsom interrupted her laughter.

“Trouble, there is?” Master Yoda appeared in the doorway of his room before Glarsom could continue her rant.

They both bowed quickly before the older woman launched into everything she was in trouble for this time. She stood there with her hands together, patiently waiting for the conversation to include her again. The grandmaster listened attentively to Glarsom’s complaints, but also seemed to turn to study her. She just shrugged her shoulders feeling bored. What were you supposed to say when someone claimed your behavior was completely wrong? She didn’t think there was anything wrong with having a little fun. And yeah maybe the boy, Kelleren, would have a few marks on his arm for a couple days, but she definitely hadn’t punctured skin. She’d only been pretending and as far as she was concerned, that was obvious. Master Glarsom just couldn’t see it.

“This is out of control, Master,” The woman continued. “No amount of punishment improves her behavior. She’s not fit to be a Jedi.”

“Perhaps punishment isn’t the correct course of action then.” She straightened as another woman stepped into the conversation. Someone she’d never seen around the temple before, someone that had almost appeared to materialize out of the shadows. She had short brown hair and a roundish face, human but didn’t give off the vibes of being snobbish like the rest of them. She looked like she was half the age of Master Glarsom, but maybe in her thirties? She couldn’t really tell, humans aged slower. “I apologize for inserting myself in your discussion, but I couldn’t help overhearing.”

“Jescal, good it is to see you,” Master Yoda bowed respectfully to the newcomer, who nodded in response.

“And what of the situation do you know?” Glarsom demanded. “That you think you can slip right in and tell us what to do?”

She glanced back at the woman Master Yoda had addressed as Jescal. There was something about her, something that drew her, but she didn’t know what. She’d never really connected with anybody in the temple, let alone some strange woman she’d never seen before. “Well, you’ve not exactly been quiet in your disdain for the youngling, I’ve heard everything you’ve said since the second staircase.” She rolled her lips trying not to grin. This Jescal woman had shocked Master Glarsom into a stuttering silence and barely looked perturbed.

“Trouble, there is,” Master Yoda said instead. “This youngling, problems with the others, she has.”

Jescal turned her brown eyes on her and swept them over her as though faster than a datapad, she’d processed everything she’d seen. She stepped over in front of her and knelt down to her level. “How old are you, child?”

“Twelve,” she said. “Though if I were still on Shili, I’d be fourteen.”

“Is that so?” the newcomer murmured thoughtfully. “Tell me what happened.”

“Master Glarsom already gave her account.”

“Indeed, but I want to hear yours.” She looked at her in confusion. Nobody had ever asked her before. Nobody had ever cared what she was doing. They always took the other children at their word. “Go ahead.”

“I was hunting,” she started with uncertainty, glancing at Master Yoda to see if he would intervene, but he was leaning on his gimer stick and watching them curiously. When he didn’t interrupt after her few minute pause, she looked back at the kinder woman in front of her. “The other younglings think the temple is haunted, so I use that to hide, since there’s no turu grass here.”

“You must be a really good hunter if you could sneak up on them without tall grass to hide in,” Jescal said softly.

“I am!” She puffed out her chest. “I’m the best hunter in the temple!”

“So, what happened when you caught your prey?” Master Glarsom made a disgusted sound like she wanted to interrupt but Master Yoda waved to her to stay silent.

“I gnawed on his arm a little, but he didn’t taste good, so I didn’t eat him. Then I leapt across the room to find a better meal. They cried though, so that wasn’t fun. The other little girl was sleeping but she didn’t smell good. So, I pounced on the other boy, but he slowed me and they all ran away. I didn’t hurt them, I wouldn’t really eat them!” she said earnestly, suddenly feeling the need for this woman to stand up for her. If she said something in disappointment, she was sure it would crush her. Not that she understood why a stranger’s opinion mattered more than the grandmaster’s or one of her teachers.

“I always knew the food in the temple was bad,” Jescal laughed. “We need to find you better prey.”

“You are _not_ encouraging this behavior!” Master Glarsom spoke up at last, unable to resist her need to express her displeasure. “This child is an abomination, a disruption of the peace and all that we hold dear.”

Jescal rose, and while not very tall in comparison to Glarsom, she had a presence about her. A way about her that told you she was not to be trifled with. “This child is from a different world, Yamaa. That does not make her an abomination just because she does not act and think like us. She needs training, not punishment. She needs outlets for her natural instincts. She does _not_ need people that treat her as though she’s inferior. It is our duty to meet each and every youngling where they are, not twist them into what is deemed acceptable by human standards.”

“To the temple, what brings you?” Master Yoda asked suddenly. She wasn’t sure if it was relevant to what was going on or if he was just trying to diffuse the tension between the two women.

“Well, Master Yoda, it would seem it’s finally time for me to choose a padawan,” Jescal said softly. She almost cried in disappointment. If this woman chose a padawan now, she wouldn’t be available to choose her when she was old enough.

“One in mind, have you?”

“Yes, Master,” Jescal murmured and then turned towards her. “I know she’s a bit young, but I’d like to train this one.” Her eyes widened and her heart leapt in her chest. It felt like it was clawing to get out, like it might finally be free. 

“What say you, Taraahi? Train under Master Vaia, will you?” Master Yoda asked after tapping his stick on the floor.

It took a moment for her to form words, and she was afraid the woman would change her mind. Unable to make a sound, she nodded as tears streamed down her cheek.

“Settled it is,” Yoda said.

“But-” Glarsom started. The grandmaster tapped his cane harder.

“Settled.” Master Glarsom fell silent. 

“Taraahi, is it?” Master Vaia asked, and she nodded again. “Wipe those tears and follow me.” The woman handed her a scarf and started off down the hallway. Not wanting to be left behind, she did as she was instructed and ran after her.


End file.
